Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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