i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
