Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
