I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
