i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
