i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
