and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you traded sex for a burrito?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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