Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
