I'm lost and stupid without you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
