Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You have to summon your inner elephant
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
