why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
