At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize