Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
