"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
