me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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