Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize