there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
