who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
