they need to just BURY HIM!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
