Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
