oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
