Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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