You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
