So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
