We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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