he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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