dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
