God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
