Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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