I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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