Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
