It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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