Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
there is glitter all over my balls
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
