why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
