I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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