i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
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I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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