Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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