i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
