Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
