none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
