Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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