This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Damn victory sex feels great
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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