we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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