He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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