yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
