Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
