My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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