On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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