Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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