whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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