You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize