Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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