God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
