Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
