i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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