A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
