maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So. Much. Porn.
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