i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
