WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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