And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
