Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
