So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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