thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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